Looking for advice on helping clients with relationship issues, but not sure where to start? Here are some of our favorite tips and resources.
Relationship challenges are a very common reason for seeking therapy. But how do we do this when providing individual therapy? Even though you’re only working with one side of the relationship, there's still much progress that can be made through your work with your client. Here are eight techniques you can try to help clients with relationship issues.
All effective therapy starts with truly understanding your client’s experience. When it comes to relationship challenges, clients want to share their side of the story. Some clients may know their emotional experience of the situation and eagerly express it to you. Others may have trouble recognizing their emotional experience and need prompting to gain awareness.
This initial stage involves clarifying the client’s experience, helping them feel seen and heard, and reflecting their perspective to build understanding. It also includes validating their experience to ensure that they know you understand. Jumping in too soon with solutions can be detrimental to the therapeutic process as it may push the client before they’re ready. Resisting this urge while applying person-centered therapy is crucial in this early part of the process. Doing this well will build trust with the client and set the table for the most useful sessions.
One of the biggest challenges of doing this one-sided work of therapy is just that: you only get one person’s take. Structuring therapy sessions around only one perspective in a multi-perspective relationship has its limits. It can be useful to ask some insight-producing questions like “what do you think your partner’s perspective is on this?” or “how do you think they perceive your words and actions?”
Knowing that you can only understand your client’s perspective can also have a positive effect. You can emphasize that your client can only work on their part in the relationship. While it may feel good to talk about their partner, they will likely get the most out of therapy if they focus their energy on themselves and what they can control. Helping them stay centered on their own growth in the relationship can serve them well.
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It can be of great value to help individual clients to understand their own boundaries and values within the context of the relationship. When clients understand their core values, these can serve as a compass for how they want to participate in the relationship. This can guide how they communicate, support their partner, prioritize time, and make decisions. Values work can also lead to a better understanding of their boundaries. Where do they need to be more or less firm with their boundaries? What are their non-negotiables and deal-breakers in the relationship? Helping clients define and implement boundaries can bring greater health for themselves and the relationship.
When a client is in a harmful or abusive relationship, creating a safety plan should become the top priority. The plan is a tailored strategy that gives your client practical steps to keep themselves safe. The client will know their exit routes, emergency contacts, and hidden emergency supplies (e.g., clothes, keys, and other essentials) to utilize in a dangerous situation. Whether the client chooses to stay or leave the situation, there are tangible actions they can implement to reduce risk. Safety plans can also include the emotional and practical supports they can connect with. Revising and updating the plan periodically is helpful, as circumstances may change. As a therapist, keep in mind any reporting requirements you have to Adult Protective Services (APS) and Child Protective Services (CPS) in these situations.
Gaining a deeper understanding of your client’s relational ecosystem can better guide your support and empower them to make meaningful change. You can develop a picture of relationships in their family growing up — as well as patterns of relationships over the years — which will add to their insight and build capacity to step out of any unhelpful patterns. Years of operating within certain boundaries, core beliefs, expectations, and behavioral patterns have led your client to where they are today. Giving them a way to see those patterns, to keep what's useful, and to find a way out of the unhelpful, can lead them towards greater health in their relationship. Identifying their current support systems and other relationships is extremely useful as they go through therapy and work toward change.
One common challenge for individuals in the context of their relationships is how they feel about themselves. Low self-esteem can be a rigid internal barrier that prevents relationships from reaching their potential. There is great opportunity within individual therapy sessions to help build up your client’s self-esteem and positively impact the relationship. This can lead to better communication, resilience, boundaries, and authenticity in relationships. There are a variety of treatment approaches that can be applied to build self-esteem depending on your training, including cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, narrative therapy, mindfulness-based therapy, or internal family systems. Using a positive traits worksheet may be a quick and easy way to get started on this work as well.
It's beneficial to help a client develop a focus on objectives for every interaction they have with their partner. What's the goal for this conversation? How can you communicate to give the best chance of achieving that goal? Dialectical behavior therapy can be a great intervention because so much of it is devoted to interpersonal effectiveness. This can help clients define their own objectives during interpersonal interactions, then provide practical communication tools that can support each of those objectives.
In some instances, it may be useful to recommend a couples therapist for your client and their partner. Unless there is active domestic abuse happening, having each partner in individual therapy and the couple in therapy together can be a powerful path towards change. You can discuss the potential benefits of this with the client and process any risks or hesitancies about couple’s therapy. If your client and their partner are willing to take that step, you can offer to have a release of information signed and collaborate with the couple's therapist. This can bring greater insight to yourself as the individual therapist and the couple's therapist, which ultimately can lead to better outcomes for the couple.
Navigating relationship challenges in individual therapy takes insight, structure, and the right tools. With Headway’s all-in-one platform, you can streamline your workflow, spend more time supporting your clients’ growth, and less time on paperwork. Ready to enhance your practice?
This content is for general informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical, legal, financial, or professional advice. All decisions should be made at the discretion of the individual or organization, in consultation with qualified clinical, legal, or other appropriate professionals.
© 2026 Therapymatch, Inc. dba Headway. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission.
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